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Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:19 pm
by Boern
Leave behind yer boring lives landlubbers! Join Cap'n Boern's crew for wondrous journeys onboard of the (soon to be) revered BSV Pizza Party.

The Pizza Party only recently came to my possession, and now the time has come to conquer the high seas in search for that splendiferous booty! Treasures and wealth of unimaginable extend are awaiting for its taker behind the foamy waves. It's all true, I have seen it with my own eyes in my dreams.

It would be selfish of me to hoard all these riches and fame for myself so I am looking for mates to share the journeys with. No previous sailing experience required. Cooking skills is a plus. The sea teaches, as we men of the sea tend to say. The first to join will get to be the first mate and receive a free sailor's hat! Free hat!

~Boern, Cap'n of the BSV Pizza Party, 604 503 185

*Attached is a picture of Boern wearing cheap-looking pirate attire complete with an eyepatch, a ruffled shirt, and a smug face.*
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 8:31 pm
by Charha
Ahoy, I might be interested in case you're going to battle tentacle beasts. They're an excellent source of executioner's caps, which I occasionally distill in order to feed my habits.

Should you plan to claim uninhabited islands and lay waste to unsuspecting native tribes, you'll be needing a lawyer. All in all, I would be happy to make you feel better about your potentially unethical decisions and assure you that everything is going to be alright. I'm not much of a cook, but I can fry things on a pan and mix pretty mean margaritas. Also, I'm an endless source of debaucherous pirate shanties. Let me assure you: there is nothing wrong with having a gypsy on your ship. I personally haven't brought bad luck to any identifiable vessel.

Unfortunately I can't take part in very long journeys because I have a man and a daughter back home and someone needs to babysit them whenever I'm not around. But anyways, do let me know if I caught your attention.

Yours truly,

~Rip

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Re: Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 1:52 pm
by Boern
Aye, Ripkin! I would gladly have ye on board. You've been an invaluable asset so far and would be so on the Pizza Party as well. And if tentacles is what ye seek, then tentacles is what ye shall receive. I am prepared to battle all sorts of monstrosities of the deep without a moment's hesitation.

Just hold your seahorses with the waste laying. I don't know what kind of savage of a man you take me as, but I am willing to respect primitive cultures and be accepted as their god before there is a need to ravage their lands. Of course this is situational and I would gladly accept advice on the course of actions. Shanty knowledge is also always appreciated on the ship.

I will have to do some preparations and soon we'll be ready to set sail. Welcome aboard.

"Sea is the land of opportunity", as we tend to sa... hold on, that doesn't seem to make much sense... but you get the gist.

~Boern, Cap'n of the BSV Pizza Party

Re: Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:44 pm
by Boern
Ahoy, lads and lassies!

I am glad to let ye all know that Pizza Party's maiden voyage with Cap'n Boern (that be me) at the helm was a whopping bootiful success. Arr, I was lucky to have with me on board the fearsome crew of First Mate, Chief Cook Officer, Master Look-Out Person, and Shanty Leader Ripkin; and Second Mate, Main Navigator, Leading Bootyfinder, and Designated Dollie Slayer Ermien who sailed with me on these treacherous seas.

On the course of our journey we...
- Discovered and claimed at least a half-a-dozen wondrous islands
- Struck down what appeared to be a king of a whiffy ogre clan and thus making us ogre royalty by direct heritage
- Traversed through bogs and swamps to collect caps
- Had some delicious ogre steaks and rum
- Found out why "jungley" is a bad thing
- Solved the curse of a mystery island. Sort of. It's still cursed though. And a mystery
- Learned the important difference between a boat and a ship. Oh, and a fort and a fortress, I suppose, although there is no real difference
- Were chased by a flight of dragons which we managed to keep at bay by fighting and outmaneuvering
- Decimated most of the dolphin population
- Found more booty than a man can count with the fingers of his hand!
...and so much more

Sadly, the voyage wasn't without a loss as I saw my trusty boots sink into the abyss of the ocean. "The sea giveth, the sea taketh away" as we seafarers tend to muse.

Aye, this was but a scratch of the surface on the grand scheme of things and the Pizza Party is always looking for more crew for future adventures!

~Boern, Cap'n of the BSV Pizza Party

*attached is a picture of what appears to be a dragon attacking a ship. It could also be a fire-breathing seagull. It's difficult to tell*
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Re: Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:35 am
by Charha
On my honor as the new Ogre Baroness of Island Whatwasit, I hereby declare that all of the above is true!

~Rip

Re: Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:54 pm
by Boern
Aye, thank you Ripkin. And if you feel the call of the sea again, there's more to come!

Indeed people, jolly exciting news! I, Cap'n Boern, have already started preparations for the next grand voyage. Oh, and it's not just any trip around the pond either. No, this is it. This is the thing. The dream of every sailor out there. We will find and reach the... the...

...the world's end, the edge of the world, the great unknown, the beyond, the... you know.

Uncover the mystery, gaze over the edge into the abyss. Sail to the edge of the world and watch the stars fall down. Do it all on board of the Pizza Party. Aye, you may think it all as only a myth but there is something out there, I am positive. Eternal knowledge? Fountain of youth? The secret of life? Or best yet, that lovely magnificent BOOTY!? We will find out!

Be part of the legend! Join now! By popular demand, complimentary pizza and drinks will be served on board of the Pizza Party for all crew members.

~Boern, Cap'n of the BSV Pizza Party

*attached is a picture of Boern engrossed by a map*
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Re: Arr, looking for a crew!

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 3:04 pm
by Boern
Arr, another interesting adventure in the books! Showing grand courage to explore the unknown with me was Alimae Shugar. Let me tell ya, she makes some devilishly delicious sausage pizza. And those chocolate bunnies... heavenly. In addition to all the great cookery, she was very poised and no danger seemed to shake her even a bit. Very impressive.

Did we reach the edge of the world? Well, yes. Sort of. Maybe? When we boldly entered the uncharted seas, everything suddenly turned hazy and dreamy. The line between reality and illusion turned into a blur. Time, place, the sea, the sky, all blended into odd mist. Okay, it could have been the strange red mushrooms I laced my pizza with. But for a while, I was one with the sea, dancing on the edge, reaching into forever... A highly worthy trip indeed.

So uh... if anyone has more of these red mushrooms, I am looking to acquire some for research purposes.

~Boern, Cap'n of the BSV Pizza Party

*attached is a picture of the Pizza Party gliding through everything and nothing*
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